Reason to Sing

God you gotta be changing my heart.
Thank you for today.
Thank you for giving me the desire to come to you this morning.
Thank you for giving me strength to go about this day.
Thank you for making me value a podcast (In the Meantime: Andy Stanley) over watching a show tonight.
I'm very excited about this year.
I (have) a reason to sing because you have my whole world in your hands.
Lord you are good to me.
Use me this year.

By T. Austin-Sparks from: The On-High Calling Volume 1 - Chapter 9

Looking to Jesus.... (Hebrews 12:2 ESV)

There is a real touch of Paul in this Letter to the Hebrews – "Looking off unto Jesus." Whoever actually wrote this Letter, the shadow of Paul is over it. His influence is everywhere. And certainly he was called upon to look off unto Jesus. Now that is a very vital lesson for us to learn. We have to do that again and again in our Christian life. If we get our eyes upon anything but the Lord Jesus we just go to pieces. Have all respect for God's saints. I am not saying that you have to eye every servant of God with suspicion and be saying all the time: "Well, of course, he is not perfect, you know." Give honor to whom honor is due, but never build your faith upon any man, however good he may be.

And as for ourselves – well, I think perhaps we are more tempted to look at ourselves than anything else! This is one of our real Christian exercises. We have continually to remove our eyes from ourselves and everything to do with ourselves. There is nothing more discouraging than this self of ours, and nothing more misleading. Our own judgments are all wrong, and so are our thoughts and ideas. They are not God's thoughts. We must take our eyes off ourselves, but not look out into space and be vacant. "Look off unto Jesus," and you know how that sentence is finished – "Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith." Did you start this thing? Are you a Christian because you decided to be a Christian? Well, the Lord help you if that is so! No, He started this thing. Are you not glad that you can say: "It was the Lord who found me. It was the Lord who put His hand on me." What He said is very true: "Ye did not choose Me, but I chose you" (John 15:16). He was the author of our faith, and it says that He is the finisher – He will finish it.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Wow.

I just watched this movie and I want to read this book. I would totally recommend it to anyone including my family.

I can relate, and I believe anyone can.

This is my favorite book and movie.

“To tell you the truth, I've just been avoiding everything.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“I'm just thinking too fast-- much too fast.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“Dear friend,
I feel great! I really mean it. I have to remember his for the next time I'm having a terrible week. Have you wer done that? You feel really bad, and then it goes away, and you don't know why. I try to remind myself when I feel great like this that there will be another terrible week coming someday, so I should store up as many great details as I can, so during the next terrible week, I can remember those details and believe that I'll feel great again. It doesn't work a lot, but I think it's very important to try. ” 
― Stephen Chbosky

“Love pats are soft punches of encouragement that are admistered on the knee, shoulder, and arm.” 
― Stephen Chbosky

“For me personally, as much as I don't understand my mom and dad and as much as I feel sorry for them sometimes, I can't help but love them very much.” 
― Stephen Chbosky

“I guess when you see somebody in the hallway or on the field or something, it's nice to know that they are a real person.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“I couldn't believe Sam actually got me a present because i honestly thought the "I love you" was it.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Rest

I need some true rest.

Hurricane Sandy provided a week off from reality. For most people, work had been canceled, school closed, and a break was given. 

However, school continually lingers over my head, supplements plague my mind, weather holds continual hindrances (snowstorm), sleep and escape sounds more pleasant. Everyone was affected by Hurricane Sandy, almost everyone was sent into disarray. I scoured for Wifi and electricity for the past week. 

I ended up traveling to my grandparents house, then sleeping in my parents church, then sister's fiance's house then coming to Brooklyn in my brothers apartment. I have been wearing the outfit for numerous days attempting to complete my task of finishing school work and supplements, but work falls short when I lose motivation to continue.

I need some rest, apart from stress. Some serenity, peace of mind. A calming dream. 

I just want to finish everything and get back on track with life. I'm sure falling way behind. 

I need some rest, rest only God can provide. God relieve my stress, give me motivation, give me a prayer life, help your child. I'm weak, I need your strength to sustain me. I fall short and I know you are gracious. I am losing sight of you. 

Prayer Request: 

I need a prayer life, a constant one. 

Apathy

Lemme just say,
Life is getting to me.
i either have to snap out of it soon,
or all hell breaks loose.
I feel apathy coming back to me.
It's not a pleasant feeling.
Soon enough, i'll be numb again and it'll be hard to pull me back to life again.
I need a way out.

I miss my Grandma.

College

This college process is so darn stressful.
I'm falling back in school work.
I'm losing time management
I took a week off from being captain of the Cross Country Team.
Darn why does my life feel so out of place?